My Perfect World
by jenandtonic
Summary: People say that you don’t miss a place, but rather a place in time. first fic. AH. please read and review.rated M for language.
1. Chapter 1

_**Prologue **_

People say that you don't miss a place, but rather a place in time. As I walk through the memories of my childhood hidden beneath sheets and covered in dust I let out a ragged breath I hadn't known I was holding, "there's no place like home." I hadn't been here in ten years, and if it had been my wish I would have remained away for a hundred more.

_I left the small yellow house on the eve of my sixteenth birthday. I eased the door open and could faintly make out the snores of my father from the second story as the night enveloped me. I simply couldn't stay. I loved my father, and I know to some extent he loved me too, but he was broken and it was my face that burdened him. I could see it in his eyes, on the rare occasion he would look at me directly, I was his ghost. I was his lost love. I was my mother. _

_She had left us when I was twelve and I hated her. We were happy and we were whole, we were my perfect world. _

I slowly pulled the sheet from the edge of the couch and shook it violently as if to clear my mind of its dusty memories. Inhaling deeply, I started to gag on the thick cloud that hung in the air. Typical I thought. Of course I would nearly asphyxiate not ten minutes into my arrival "home."

After stripping the remaining furniture without incident I made my way to the bright kitchen. It was exactly as I had remembered. With its yellow walls and what were once white cabinets I could almost smell the waffles burning in the toaster. I nearly laughed at the thought; mom really never was much of a cook.

I stood on my toes stretching my chucks to their limit as I opened the cabinets to fully assess the damage. Not bad I guess. Dusty, but without use for so long I suppose that was to be expected. So far I hadn't seen anything that a little elbow grease couldn't fix. It's weird, but I almost felt excited about the prospect of being back in this house. There was something here. It was filthy and neglected, but I was beginning to see its potential.

_**Chapter One**_

I sat back in my chair leaning against my hand that desperately sought to dissolve the tension in my neck. It's been one of those days, but who am I kidding really, it's been one of those decades. Taking an inventory of the space surrounding me I tried to imagine my belongings decorating the interior of my childhood home. Can I really do this? I haven't been there since… well, if I'm going to do this, I suppose I had better get my ass in gear. So with a small groan as I popped my neck, I lazily drug myself from the haven of my favorite chair and began to pack up my life.

Not wanting to endure the epic journey of driving all of my belongings from Arizona to Washington I decided to consolidate my meager haul and ship it. This will be good, I tried to reassure myself. "I can do this;" I spoke aloud with a little too much enthusiasm for my own ears. I was trying desperately to convince myself that this was for the best.

And so after bidding farewell to the sun I found myself sitting in this tiny contraption they have convinced me is perfectly safe and is actually considered a plane contemplating the recent events in my life that have subsequently rendered me a passenger in this flying death trap.

"_But Aunt Esme, you can't possibly expect me to just move back there!"_

"_Bella honey, I think it would be good for you. You have evaded your problems for too long now. You need some sort of closure. You need to find peace. I know it will be difficult to relive your past, but I believe it is essential to your future."_

"_Gah… I just, I don't know if I can go back there. It's been nearly ten years. I just, Esme I don't think I'm strong enough."_

"_Isabella," she said sighing deeply before continuing. "You are the strongest woman I know. When you came to live with me you were a shell of a person, you were so fragile, but you were strong enough to hope. You took that hope and made it your mantra. You graduated high school with honors and received your college degree in just three years. You are nothing if not strong enough. You are strong and you are determined, but you are also broken, incomplete. You have never allowed yourself the oppurtunity to heal. You deserve everything life has to offer, but honey you can't define happiness by external means. You must find it within yourself. Go."_

People say that you don't miss a place, but rather a place in time. As I walk through the memories of my childhood hidden beneath sheets and covered in dust I let out a ragged breath I hadn't known I was holding, "there's no place like home." I hadn't been here in ten years, and if it had been my wish I would have remained away for a hundred more.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

**Last night had been rough to say the very least. Sleep was a state I rarely traveled to before my move, so toss in a few creaking doors, a lumpy couch and a heavy dose of guilt and here I stand. Well I guess stand would be an elaboration of my current form as I am slumped over the kitchen counter eagerly awaiting my caffeine fix. Strumming my fingers impatiently I stare out the window deeply sighing at the streams of water flowing down its length. **

_**I sat at the window reading the book I received on my birthday while my father sat at the table cleaning his gun. I could vaguely make out my mothers form in the back yard as she gathered flowers from the garden. It had started to rain, but she refused to come back inside. "I just need a few more flowers," she said walking towards the encroaching forest. **_

**Three large cups of coffee later and my eyes have decided they will indeed stay open of their own volition. Good, well I suppose this means I should get dressed although the idea of just staying in my sweats and never leaving the house does seem rather appealing. But alas, sooner or later I will have to make a public appearance, well reappearance as the case were, and seeing as I have a disgusting amount of work to do, the procrastinator in me chooses option b. **

**My suitcase hit the floor with more force than I had intended, but my shock left me little regard for the baggage I had been carrying. I stood there in the doorway with my mouth gaping at the sight in front of me. My room. Suddenly it all came rushing back; that night blazed across my vision as I slowly sunk to the floor.**

_**I lay on the floor stretching further trying to reach the bag under my bed. It's funny how I used to fear its depths as a child. One too many scary stories I suppose, but then again I have always been told that I have an overactive imagination. Finally seizing the stiff fabric, I placed it atop my bed and began to fill it with the contents of my dresser. As I grappled with one of the drawers, I caught my reflection in the glass and sighed at the sight of my tear stained face. I was about to leave the only home I had ever known. I was leaving my bed and my posters, my books and my toys. I was leaving my childhood. I was leaving my father. **_

_**I left the small yellow house on the eve of my sixteenth birthday. I eased the door open and could faintly make out the snores of my father from the second story as the night enveloped me. I simply couldn't stay. I loved my father, and I know to some extent he loved me too, but he was broken and it was my face that burdened him. I could see it in his eyes, on the rare occasion he would look at me directly, I was his ghost. I was his lost love. I was my mother. **_

_**My room was exactly as I had left it that night so many years ago. There was dust of course, but with the exception of a few sheets over the meager furniture the room possessed, it was exactly the same. The walls were a deep blue, and although the posters had faded from the years they had seen they were precisely where I had hung them. I stripped the furniture of its casing and was even more astounded by the half hazard appearance of every surface. The room had been untouched for ten years. Cd's, books and lip smackers littered the surface of my dresser, and it was sad. It was really sad. Looking at these abandoned items I felt sympathetic to their plight. I felt a surge of guilt at their dismissal. **_

_**This place had once been my sanctuary from the outside world, from the cruel teasing and relentless sneers. It had sheltered me from the sad faces and dismissive airs. It had hidden me in my futile attempts to escape reality, and I had abandoned it, leaving it desecrated, violated, debased.**_

_**Inhale one, two, three, exhale four, five, six. This is why I'm here. I am going to face my past. I'm going to clean this place up and say my final goodbye as it sells to the highest bidder.**_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After a quick shower, I don't know how I thought I'd feel clean in a shower so filthy, I reluctantly dressed in attire suitable for the perfect storm. From the amount of rubber my body is currently clad in one could easily assume I double duty for the wicked witch or some form of contraceptive. The truth is, I hate the rain. I don't know if it's because I am naturally cold and am in constant need of artificial insulation, or if it simply mirrors my mood too precisely. Either way I steer clear of all things wet and cold.

The key turned easily in the lock, although I don't know why I even bother as the place would probably look better after a proper home invasion. "Ugghh…" I really do hate the rain. I made my way to the big old truck in the drive. God what a monstrosity, "even it's paint is trying to escape."

"You know," I whipped my head towards the voice behind me, "you used to love to ride in that truck when you were little."

"Mr. Cullen, umm, you startled me. I…ugghh… I didn't see anyone out here."

"Quite right. I suppose you wouldn't in that getup you have on." I blushed furiously. "You know Bella, I don't think you'll melt, it's just a mild drizzle."

"Yeah, I guess not. Anyway, yeah, it was nice seeing you and all, but I really am very busy, and um, yeah I have to go now," wow that wasn't evasive at all, and you could hardly tell that I had indeed exceeded second grade grammar.

"Well Bella, it was nice seeing you, and remember dear, if you need anything the boys and I are right next door."

The boys, "The boys?" Damn my lack of filter.

"Yes, you remember Jasper and Edward I'm sure. They are home for the summer. Jasper and his wife are on a sort of extended honeymoon, and Edward has decided to complete his residency at our local hospital."

"Oh. Well that's nice. I'll see you around." I made my way quickly to the cab and launched myself full force into its interior. With a slam of the door I had made my escape. Click, click, click, click. What the hell. Of course it wouldn't be that easy. Of course this stupid heap of scrap metal on wheels would do this to me. "God Da…" my curse was interrupted by a gentle tap on my window.

Turning my head towards the disruption I gasped at the view. Standing mere inches away from my face, parted only by the thin sheet of glass was Edward Cullen in the flesh. Of course he would look like a better version of the god he was as a teenager. What the hell?

Seeing my apparent distress he slowly raised his hands in the air and with a tug of his lip gave me the most genuine smile I have ever seen. "I come in peace," he drawled. With a slight chuckle I opened the door. Anticipating my actions, Edward retreated slightly allowing my slim frame withdrawal from the retched beast.

"Having some trouble starting that fine piece of machinery?" he asked. Wow he must be a rocket scientist to come to that conclusion all on his very own.

"Yeah. I can't get it to start. I turn the key and nothing."

"Well I don't know much about umm, antiques, but my friend Emmett and his wife own a shop in town. I could have him look at it when he comes over later."

Damn, I was really hoping to get started cleaning up the house, and I have nothing here to aide me in the task. "Where were you going? I could give you a lift if you'd like," he said with what seemed like… hope?

"Urm… uhh.. Yeah, well I was going to stop by the store for some cleaning supplies, and basics for the house."

"Well I was just headed to Port Angelas myself," he said nodding to the silver car in the drive. "You could join me if you like."

"Thanks," I said a bit too enthusiastically. "That would be wonderful, but I really don't want to be a bother."

"No bother at all." Gesturing towards his car, "Shall we?"

I had been sitting in Edward Cullen's car for ten minutes. In that ten minutes he had adjusted the heat four times. Changed the radio station twice. Glanced in his mirrors repeatedly, and flinched once. It was a simple question really. Just human nature, natural curiosity. My reaction I suppose, was anything but natural.


	4. Chapter 4

_I had been sitting in Edward Cullen's car for ten minutes. In that ten minutes he had adjusted the heat four times. Changed the radio station twice. Glanced in his mirrors repeatedly, and flinched once. It was a simple question really. Just human nature, natural curiosity. My reaction I suppose, was anything but natural._

**Chapter 4**

After nearly half an hour of torture we had arrived. Edward had not spoken another word, and in response, my own vernacular became limited to my incessant internal monologues. I don't intentionally seek solitude. It seems as though I have a natural aptitude, some sort of predestined path of the loner. Manifest destiny I suppose. I mean Edward is certainly not the first person I have repelled, and I can admit with unwavering certainty that he will not be the last. This is me. This is how I work. I am broken. I am my father.

The engine cut and the car stilled, the silence was deafening. What could I possibly say in my own defense? Is it too late to plead the fifth? How about a plea of insanity? An institution wouldn't be that bad. I mean I don't mind jello and I have always been partial to bathrobes. "Are you going to get out or what?" Edward was now at my door looking as though I had just kicked his puppy. With a sigh I exited the vehicle. One day I thought, one day I would be normal.

"_So Bella, why did you leave Forks?" _

_Was he serious? Did this really constitute as small talk? Maybe this is why he offered to take me shopping. I mean I knew there had to be some reason Edward Cullen was being nice. "What the fuck?" Damn it did I just say that out loud?_

"_Excuse me?"_

"_Um yeah, I mean, I just fuck. I really don't want to talk about it. Is that okay with you?"_

_With a curt nod and a clearing of his throat Edward shifted uncomfortably in his seat. _

_In the fluorescent lights of the store I could swear my skin looked slightly grey. I have never been a shade darker than ivory, but my skin used to have a subtle glow. Hmmm, maybe I should get some self tanner, but then again, grey has to be better than orange right? I suppose it doesn't matter anyway. Grey, an insipid version of black, without contrast; a specter of shade. But again, my mind finds fancy over reason. Supplies. The unfortunate pretext for my current debacle. _

_As I stood in line with my plunder I caught a glimpse of bronze. We had been in the store for nearly an hour, and this is the first I've spotted him. God this is going to be awkward. Maybe I should have snagged a shoe horn to remove foot from mouth. I'll just apologize. But would he just accept my apology without any explanation? Shit, what am I… "Mam?"_

_Oh yeah, in public, about to check out, right. I smiled at the boy behind the register as I slowly placed my items on the belt. Fifteen bags and four hundred dollars later I made my way towards the shiny silver car. He was already seated of course; strumming his fingers against the wheel. Ugghh his fingers, his hands, he was so beautiful. I wonder if he still plays the piano. As I stood there nearly gaping at my driver I heard a loud pop from the back of the car. The trunk. Well, I guess that's one way to tell me to just put my shit in the car and stop staring. I suppose he isn't going to help, not that I can blame him. So I made my way to the back of the car, slowly maneuvering the cart around the lakes these people call puddles. You'd think the concept of drainage would have been easily grasped in an area so utterly saturated. _

_Just as I bent to grab one of the many bags from the cart a large hand mimicked my movements. I know that hand. Following its length towards its source I found Edward. He was helping me. Maybe this could be okay. I mean it's just a small gesture, but with it my anxiety seemed to quickly dissipate. As the bags quickly disappeared into the cavern of the trunk I made my way to return the buggy. Barely ever being aware of my surroundings, I was not surprised when I tripped on the edge of a puddle. As I fell I could visualize impact. This was not my first foray into the art of tripping; I have over the years, become a seasoned professional. So when my descent halted I must say I was quite surprised. I noted a weight on my chest. Shifting slightly, hands, hands on my chest. Oh my god, Edward Cullen hands on my chest! As if hearing my thoughts, Edward quickly brought me in an upright standing position. Blushing furiously I lifted my gaze to notice a similar blush sweep across this man's cheeks. He smirked slightly as he ran a hand through his bronze locks. My knees began to twitch and I thought surely they would buckle under the strain, but just as I began to lean Edward grabbed my elbow. "Are you alright? You seem a little shaky?"_

"_Yeah I'm fine. Probably a little hungry I guess." It was true I hadn't eaten breakfast this morning, but it was hardly the reason for my inability to behave like a human around Edward. There is just something about him, a spark, an energy that I can feel from the tips of my ears to the curl of my toes._

"_Well there's a pretty good Italian place around the corner if you wanted to grab a bite."_

"_Food, yeah, I could eat." Dear lord I have got to learn how to better articulate around this man._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Upon entering the tiny eatery I stilled as I felt Edward's hand ghost along the small of my back. With my abrupt halt in movement the hand that had whispered its presence on my spine now securely guided me to our table. His breath swept by my ear and the hair on the back of my neck stood on end as I felt a slow shiver crawl up my spine. He was so close.

While perusing the menu I felt somewhat relieved to have a shield between Edward's gaze and my own. He simply saw too much. I can't even really explain the feeling; it's like he sees something better in me, like he knows me better than I know myself. Like I belong with him. I've never been one to believe in fate. Destiny defining destination; dominating and destroying any sense of intention. An end without a means, an answer without a question, truth without explanation…. fancy over reason. I may be in distress, but I am certainly no damsel, and there will be no fairytale happily ever after in my future.

"_Bella!" the wonderfully familiar voice called from beneath my window. "Hey Bella! I know you can hear me! Come on! I want to go swimming! Bella!?"_

_I didn't answer my best friend. I couldn't. He wouldn't recognize me. How could he when I couldn't even recognize myself? I knew I should be grieving, but I could feel nothing. Numbness had descended; claiming me; swallowing me whole. I was a statue, a carving, an impression of the girl I had once been. Grey had distorted the vivid colors of my universe. Happiness was a false idol, a demigod in my reality. I would no longer worship its presence nor strive for its likeness. If happiness is defined contrastly to misery I would simply forgo both in hopes of avoiding the latter. _

_So I didn't answer the calls of the boy I had known since birth. I didn't meet his pleading stares in the halls at school. I didn't see him. I couldn't see him. Edward had always been my happiness, my center, my everything, and I would not allow him to leave me too._

"_So," Edward began. "I…"_

"_Hi. I'm Tanya, and I'll be your server for the evening!"_

_Jesus fuck, really? I simply bore holes through the menu while "Tanya" the cheerleader of servers droned on incessantly about the daily specials or something of that nature. Cringing at the ear piercing giggle that escaped her too glossed lips I glanced up to see her not so subtly fawning over Edward's form. I couldn't contain the snort as I took in his appearance. With his hands weaving through his ginger locks, Edward was the poster boy for all things angst until he met my gaze. A small smile played on his lips and his left eyebrow comedicly rose in the direction of cheer crack and I again snorted. _

_As Tanya sauntered off to place our orders, we had yet to speak. While the silence wasn't awkward or uncomfortable, I couldn't help the need to explain myself; to defend my actions, to erase my absence, to recover my friend. "Edward I…." I couldn't do this. It's been too long. I'm not that girl. I don't need him to understand. I don't need anybody._

"_What Bella? Is something wrong? What do you need?"_

"_Edward, I need… a drink."_

_He looked disappointed, as though I was Gandhi and about to enlighten him on the meaning of life. I am no bodhisattva, and if he is seeking meaning in my words he might want to call off the search party. _

"_Um. Okay."_

_Hmmmm. A drink, A, as in singular, one drink. Well, one seemed to turn to two. Two just seemed too intimate, so I thought I would throw an empty glass party. I don't normally drink all that much, but the more I drank, the easier this situation seemed to be. Psshhh. This wasn't easy, this was fucking hilarious. I was having the best time ever! I was very animated in my discussion with Edward. We were both laughing, reliving our youth in Forks. _

"_And then in classic Bella form you tripped taking Jessica and Lauren into the pool with you!"_

"_Hey," I nearly choked on my drink, "it's not my fault they decided to come all glamazon to a pool party. I mean please, it's Forks not L.A., and while Mike did resemble one Mr. Carson Daily with all of his manorexic glory, it was no MTV beach house!"_

"_Yeah.. well it looks like we're the last ones here, are you ready to go home?"_

_Letting out a heavy breath, "I guess so. I just, well, I hate staying in that house all by myself. It's just creepy you know?"_

"_Yeah I know, I mean after you left…."_

_And then I flinched._

"_Sorry I didn't mean to bring it up, it's just that you know it kind of turned into this museum for Charlie. I just get how that would be creepy I guess." Edward was fidgeting, clearly uncomfortable with the turn in conversation. "I could um… stay with you, I mean you know on the couch or something, you know if you wanted," he barely voiced as he finally lifted his head. _


	6. Chapter 6

_**Previously**_

"_**Yeah.. well it looks like we're the last ones here, are you ready to go home?"**_

_**Letting out a heavy breath, "I guess so. I just, well, I hate staying in that house all by myself. It's just creepy you know?"**_

"_**Yeah I know, I mean after you left…."**_

_**And then I flinched.**_

"_**Sorry I didn't mean to bring it up, it's just that you know it kind of turned into this museum for Charlie. I just get how that would be creepy I guess." Edward was fidgeting, clearly uncomfortable with the turn in conversation. "I could um… stay with you, I mean you know on the couch or something, you know if you wanted," he barely voiced as he finally lifted his head. **_

**Chapter Six**

Standing up, I realized how much alcohol I had actually ingested. I was clumsy completely sober, this, I thought to my self would surely be a train wreck. As if on cue, my left foot decided to blaze it's own trail across the path of my right. Reaching out in a vein attempt to regain my balance I desperately clawed at my immediate surroundings, much to Edward's entertainment. I had indeed kept myself upright, unfortunately it was Edward's hip that I had secured myself too. I immediately faltered stumbling back as a wave of warmth enveloped my cheeks, but before I could think about my next fall a large hand encircled my upper arm. Edward.

"Well, I suppose it's a good thing that I drove. We wouldn't want you going all Lindsay Lohan on the streets of Forks now would we?"

"You know," I slurred slightly, "you are not nearly as hilarious as you think you are sir. I have come to the conclusion that you should indeed keep your day job."

"Ouch," and he grasped his chest dramatically as though I had truly wounded him, "that hurt Bells."

"Oh please Edward, everyone knows that I was always the funny one."

"Okay Isabella. Whatever you say."

Rolling my eyes and sticking my tongue out like a small child seemed like the most appropriate response. But he just chuckled and led me to his shiny silver car. He sat me down on the soft leather of the passenger seat and I let out a small moan as he leaned across my form securing the belt over my chest. His hand came to rest gently on my cheek, rubbing his thumb slightly he began to lean forward. As he slowly deceased the space between us I felt my heart skip. I let my lashes fall and my sight fade as I awaited the feel of his lips on mine. "You know Bella," his lips were at my ear, "One day you are going to tell me the truth."

_I sat at the window reading the book I received on my birthday while my father sat at the table cleaning his gun. I could vaguely make out my mothers form in the back yard as she gathered flowers from the garden. It had started to rain, but she refused to come back inside. "I just need a few more flowers," she said walking towards the encroaching forest. _

_When my mother finally returned to the warmth of our small kitchen she was thoroughly drenched from the storm. She sniffed a little, but meeting my gaze a smile lit up her features. She held up the wild flowers victoriously and my father simply chuckled shaking his head. This was my mother. This was what we loved and hated most about her. She was spontaneous, she was reckless, she was wonderful, and she was ours._

_Days had passed since the storm had cleared, but the dark cloud that hung over our house seemed to linger. My mother had become ill. Pneumonia wracked her body. It laid claim to her vitality, stealing her essence and draining her life. She had left us when I was twelve and I hated her. We were happy and we were whole, we were my perfect world. _

My eyes fluttered open and I drank in the emerald orbs before me. They were gentle, they were honest, and they were hungry. I shared that hunger, that need, that magnetic pull that didn't dissipate with time nor distance. I would tell him the truth. He was my home. He was my perfect world.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

**My eyelids were pulsating, violently determined to banish the presence of morning. I was going to die. I was almost positive that only a massive brain tumor could cause the crippling pain that I was enduring. "It's not ahh tuuummmaahh," I spoke aloud with mock Arnold enthusiasm. I snorted slightly before bur roughing under the cool side of the pillow. Of course I would have a raging headache on the one day of the year the sun graced Forks with its presence. "The sun!" My body shot up, and before my head could protest I opened my eyes only to be blinded by the light flooding my room. Squinting, I attempted to adjust my sight, taking in my surroundings as though the sun had magically altered them. Hmm, everything looks the same I guess, although judging from the piles of clothes that littered my floor I would probably need to do laundry soon. A small groan extinguished my musings. I turned quickly, following the noise and could hardly keep my jaw from dropping at the sight before me. The blankets were twisted in knots, piled high, and nearly concealing the foreign body stirring beside me. I tuft of bronze was barely visible from the cover's edge, but it's sheer presence was enough to decimate any attempts of logical thought formation. Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit! What the fuck… who the fuck? "Fuck."**

"**Hmmmm?" A beautiful hand grasped the covers edge, drawing it down to expose an even lovelier shoulder. Pale skin that seemed to glow in contrast to the dark material beneath it. Skin. Oh my god, what the hell did I do? As the blankets withdrew I sat in frozen anticipation. My eyes glazed slightly as carnal images flashed before them. "Um, Bella? Are you alright?" Edward.**

"**I… yeah I'm fine." What was it that people said about fine? "Fucked-Up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional," I whispered.**

"**What the hell does that even mean Bell?" Oh shit, well of course. Fuck my inconvenient lack of filter, not that the inappropriateness of the situation exactly encouraged rational progression. "I.. um… did we… I mean, what happened last night?"**

**His laughter filled the air. What the hell was he laughing at? Did the situation amuse him so? Oh my god was he laughing at me? Was I that bad? Sweet baby Jesus, when the hell did I become **_**that**_** girl? Was this really the most pressing issue; how good of a lay I was? But, what is the issue really? The more I thought about it, the less troubled I became. It feels like an inevitability; the two of us. Unsurprising? Predictable, certainly not. Anticipated, maybe? Foreseen, predestined, predetermined... I suppose that was as good a description as any other, but it just… well, just didn't seem enough. There was a need, liking an insatiable thirst driving me to define the indefinable. But this wasn't indefinable. This right here, sprawled out in all of his glory, was the direct result of Bella when combined with alcohol; highly combustible and completely irresponsible. Shit this was like some warped after school special; why good girls shouldn't drink. Fuck that. This was no girls gone wild. This was just sex. Just sex with Edward. Fuck… SEX WITH EDWARD. **

"**You really have no idea what happened last night do you?" Edward could barely contain the laughter that seemed to seep through every syllable that escaped his wonderfully full lips. Mmmmmmm lips. Edward has the most amazing lips, but then again Edward has always had the most amazing everything. When we were children I thought him my prince. He was such a lovely child. His eyes sparkled with the color of grass after the rain. Bright and dewy, they contrasted beautifully with his dark auburn locks and alabaster skin. Skin. My thoughts were becoming circular; spirals of imagery fissuring my perspective. **

**I felt a twinge of pain as I bit my lip in quiet contemplation. I suppose I should decrease the pressure, but this small nervous gesture was somehow anchoring me to the here and now. I slowly raised my head, meeting his questioning gaze. "No," I almost inaudibly replied. **

"**Come on Izz, you were beyond loaded last night. Do you really think that you would have even been coherent enough to play an active role in the unwholesome images that I'm sure are floating around in that beautiful head of yours?"**

"**Um… no?"**


End file.
